Transvestia

the female-feminine complex. For me this would not do. I, as Virginia, like masculine company since masculinity complements femininity, but I have no desire whatever for male company by which I mean de- sending to the sexual level. This is just not my "Thing" to use a hippy expression, and it too would disqualify me as a TV. Finally I could take the route of living as Virginia 100% of the time. This would give plenty of opportunity to dress, but then it would not be in contrast to masculinity but would become a matter of necessity and necessities are seldom joyous matters. To take this step puts all the emphasis on gender just as surgery puts all the emphasis on sex. In both cases I feel that I need both not just a lot of one. Sexually speaking I enjoy being a male. Genderally speaking I enjoy being both Charles and Virginia because I realize that each provides a contrast to the other and lends depth and perspective to the total life. I probably enjoy Virginia more and spend more time as Virginia, but after all Charles is way ahead on total time lived and experiences enjoyed so Virginia has much catching up to do. Nevertheless Charles has his place and that role is enjoyed too. Thus as I say I've come to the end of the line of development of the TV and what do I find it to be? Why am I satis- fied to say I have arrived, I have no need to travel more except in time and experience?

I guess it is because I am so very content with things as they are now. I feel no need, no drive to "try something else", to go just a little further to see what it's like. After a long journey arriving home is a very satisfying thing, bringing peace, con- tentment and a willingness to leave all the pushing and shoving to others. "Home" in the sense I'm thinking of in regard to TV is not a place, nor a level of accomplishment TV-wise (this may very well differ from one TV to another). It is rather a sense that there is no longer any frustration over goals and desires unattained, because there are no more goals to be yearned for. I've long talked about